Monday, August 9, 2010

I'm an Indoor Girl

Unless it involves white sand beaches and swim up bars that serve fruity umbrella drinks. Two weekends ago we were in the country with Chad's family visiting his Grandpa who lives there. I'm not a country girl. I packed all kinds of colorful bikinis, cute matching cover ups, sundresses and flip flops. I brought one country outfit just in case we rode horses which consisted of expensive suede cowboy boots from Aldo, brown leggings from Express, and a cute plaid tunic from American Eagle. Well apparently people in the country just wear jeans, old t-shirts, and tennis shoes. Chad about had a coronary when I told him I didn't pack any tennis shoes. Anyway, I was trying to have a good attitude about being completely out of my element. That's when everything and anything that could have went wrong, went wrong.
1) I got stung by two bees.
2) Two bee stings decided to swell. Not sure why. I think I'm slightly allergic, but my dad informed me that one cannot be "slightly" allergic. Its either you are or you aren't.
3) I walked through tons of spider webs. Gag.
4) I almost fell in the lake fully clothed trying to climb on a pontoon boat. Huge bruise on back of leg as a result of Chad catching and then throwing me onto the boat.
5) Accidentally dumped Chad's Grandpa's tackle box upside down. Those damn hooks and lures were EVERYWHERE. Spent the good part of an hour reorganizing the damn thing in 100 degree temps. Super fun.
6) I walked into someone else's cabin thinking it was ours. There was a bag of towels hanging on the door that I took inside and put on their table. I started singing along to whatever Taylor Swift song was playing on their TV. I took my two beers into the bathroom (Yes two. One was 1/4 empty so I had to be prepared with a full as backup.) I then walked into the room that was supposed to be where me and Chad were staying and saw NONE OF OUR LUGGAGE. I kept whispering in panic to myself that I was in the wrong cabin. That's when I hauled ass to the bathroom to get my beers and took off out of the cabin like a bat out of hell. The people came to our cabin later looking for their towels that were supposed to be on their door. I just played dumb. Its not like I could have said they're on your table and I know this because I was in your cabin.
7) Saved the best for last.... I had to shit in a bucket. Yep. In a bucket.  Chad and I went fishing with his Grandpa at 4:45 Saturday morning. We didn't get back to the cabin til after 12:00. I have Crohn's disease and when I gotta go, I gotta go. All that was available on the pontoon boat was a bright orange bucket. Not my proudest moment.
All of this nonsense happened in one day. I was almost in tears at the end of the day so I drank a bottle of wine in under a half hour, curled in the fetal position and passed out. The next two days were very hot so all I did was lay by the pool and read. I don't have very many people pictures, but the scenic pictures turned out pretty good. Everything was sooooo pretty out there.

My stash for the weekend.
The next few pictures are all from Chad's Grandpa's house.

I love love love old farm houses.

Riding a 4 wheeler in a dress. I also didn't pack shorts.

We found a winery!!! Sucess!

Country storms are scary. There was no way in hell I was getting in the storm cellar. I'm all itchy just thinking about what kind of bugs are hiding under ground.

On the lake about a half hour before the scene of the bucket.
Chad's sweet niece, C.
The boys.
The girls.
This is my favorite of the weekend.

There were a few success to the weekend. It was very nice to spend some time with Chad's family, especially his grandpa who lives 3 hours away. I loved reading by the pool and getting super tan. And the winery was a neat find! It was in the middle of freaking nowhere. They had a lot of different wines to try (for free!) and such pretty views. We bought a bottle of apple wine and one of plum wine. Both very good! They had killer sangria, but only sold by the glass.



  1. I heard these stories live AND I still laughed out loud several times reading them!!!!

  2. well your Grandpa is still laughing and I am too. Miss you angel....

  3. Oh, how I <3 thee! I seriously just lost it when I got to the part where you realized you were in someone else's cabin...and started whispering to yourself. HA! I'm crying from laughing right now as I think about it. I know you said the trip was crazy, but geez! That's just too much!! Ha ha ha ha! Glad you made it back in one piece. :)

  4. OH MY GOSH...I just read it again, and I can't stop cracking up!! I think this may top the bike out of the dumpster and locking yourself out of your house story. lol. I particularly love this part:

    "The people came to our cabin later looking for their towels that were supposed to be on their door. I just played dumb. Its not like I could have said they're on your table and I know this because I was in your cabin."

    BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! So funny!

    Oh, and when you say you love old farmhouses...WOW...that farmhouse looks REALLY old!